I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
