I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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