dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
