Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
