I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize