I'd wear matching sweaters with you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
