So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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