Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
