I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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