would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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