my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
