Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
