He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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