things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
