I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
