how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
