Banned from zoo.
Again?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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