Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
