My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
