I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
