Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
