yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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