I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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