he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
