it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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