What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
