she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
