Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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