I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize