What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
