Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
His nipple licking is glorious
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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