at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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