Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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