Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
