Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize