At least make sure they are 18
Why
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
