So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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