what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Damn victory sex feels great
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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