Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
