go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
