I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
