**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize