yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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