The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
