So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
