i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
