come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
