Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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