then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
