can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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