sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
