there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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