somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
