ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
