And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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