its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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