There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
