addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
