So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
