I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
