her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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