and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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