Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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