I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
