I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
