Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
