32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
